


hello from the outside

by NotLostAnymore



Series: low on self esteem so you run on Gasoline [5]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Grand Theft Auto Setting, Angst, Fake AH Crew, M/M, Minor Character Death, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 08:02:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5084206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotLostAnymore/pseuds/NotLostAnymore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three years after Jeremy left Los Santos for good, Gavin starts calling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	hello from the outside

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Adele's "Hello". Then I went off on a tangent.

Jeremy hadn’t stepped foot in Los Santos for three years when he first heard the familiar tone playing from his cell phone. He’d always had a habit of assigning his contacts individual ringtones and even after all those years he knew immediately who was on the other end of the line. He felt his body freeze up in both anticipation and dread. What could possibly cause Gavin to call after so long?

It had been three years since Jeremy left Los Santos and three years since he broke Gavin’s heart. He’d wanted them to remain friendly after their break-up but they didn’t live in a world of happily ever after’s. They lived in a world where life was short and messy, where you were more likely to attend a funeral than a wedding. It had been at Ray’s funeral that Jeremy had left. It wasn’t like that had been the reason, it was just the catalyst. It was what he needed to finally step away, only he had walked at the exact time he knew Gavin needed him most.

Their relationship had always been fragile. Neither Ryan nor Michael, Gavin’s best friend, had approved of hiring new people to their close-knit crew and their overprotectiveness of Gavin meant that they never really trusted him. Their distrust of him almost got the lot of them killed on occasions. Too often one of them would have a scrape with death and while it pulled Gavin closer to Jeremy, it pulled the shorter male apart inside.

The phone continued to ring in his hand but his fingers never moved to press the answer button. Despite his intentions to keep in contact with his ex-boyfriend, he hadn’t. He hadn’t kept in contact with any of them really. Geoff had come looking for him first but it had been Caleb who found him and all he had to do was take a single look at Jeremy to know that he was done. He couldn’t be a part of the crew, not anymore so Caleb did what only he could do and talked his husband down. Getting Geoff to relent in any matter wasn’t an easy task but then again the nurse had always had a sway over him. Aside from that, the only interaction Jeremy had had with any of them was his annual Christmas card from Lindsay. It never came with any details on what the crew was doing, nor was it even signed by her husband, but Jeremy preferred it that way. He tried not to think of Los Santos if he could avoid it.

Right then in that moment though avoiding it seemed a lot harder to do. The temptation to answer was strung but so was the fear rising up inside of him. Gavin had given up calling months after Jeremy had first left. What could possibly have happened to make him call again?

No, he didn’t want to know. He hung up without even answering.

Gavin didn’t leave a message.

Instead he called again the next day. Seeing his name flash up on the Caller ID at the same time that jazz jingle began sent a jolt straight to Jeremy’s heart. He was assaulted by the memories that had been flooding back since the first call the day before. Memories of how nervous he’d been on their first date, of how smooth Gavin’s skin was under his touch, of how Jeremy had held him when they’d lost Matt. The last memory stings the most. Losing his best friend had been the start of the end for him because somehow he had deluded himself up to that point that they were safe. They were the  _Fake AH Crew_ , of course they were untouchable. 

But no, nobody was untouchable. Not Matt, not Ray, not anyone.

He hung up again.

It continued for at least two weeks. Some days Gavin doesn't call, others he calls twice. Every time Jeremy thought he was closer to answering he stops short. There was always some memory clawing back to remind him why he left: watching a rival crew beat Kdin to near death without being able to help him, Ryan almost choking Trevor to death after he failed to cover his back properly, Geoff sending him and Michael on a suicide mission to rescue Caleb that got almost all three of them killed. Violence and death plagued his mind and the thoughts of Gavin's delicate touch and goofy smile were lost in the midst. No matter how badly he wanted to answer the call, he couldn't. He could never have Gavin without the suffering so he would have neither. It was easier that way.

It was when Gavin calls him at 3am and woke him up that Jeremy finally answered. It happened totally by mistake, him not quite acknowledging the ringtone until it was too late and the phone was already pressed to his hear.

"Hello?"

"Jeremy?" The Oxfordshire voice at the end of the line snapped him wider awake. Dread began pouring through his mind as he realized the can of worms he had just opened.

"Fuck."

"You answered." The disbelief in Gavin's voice was obvious. Jeremy almost felt guilty for all those times he had hung up rather than answering. Almost.

"Why are you calling?" he asked gruffly, trying to hide the way his heart ached and his breath caught in his throat.

"I-- it's over. They're all gone."

The vulnerability in Gavin's voice made his heart lurch. Gone? Gone was too vague. Despite himself, Jeremy needed to know what 'gone' meant. "Dead?"

"Mostly. Only ones left are Caleb and Lindsay."

Jeremy's whole body seized up for a moment, the way it had when Matt had been sniped in the head while trying to find them another escape from a heist gone wrong or how it had when Ray had decided to stay behind and risk manually triggering Michael's explosives in their rival's base rather than letting his friend attempt it from afar. It was never easy losing a teammate and even if Jeremy hadn't considered himself a member of the crew for a while, it stung like all hell knowing that there was no crew to ever go back to. In the back of his mind people like Ryan and Michael had seemed like invincible titans, terrifying and invulnerable, whereas Geoff and Jack had both escaped so many tough situations Jeremy had almost convinced himself to believe nothing could take them down. Now they were all gone - well, almost all.

"And you."

"And me."

Complete silence fell over the line. A question burned inside Jeremy's mind but once again the fear had overtaken him. He knew there was no way he could ever ask it. Luckily, he didn't have to.

"Can we meet? I know it's been years and you've probably moved on and... I just need somebody right now."

"Yes." It was spoken without any hesitation. Jeremy was scared,  _petrified_ even and yet when Gavin sounded so desperate and in need he couldn't say no. It was why he'd been so scared to meet in the first time.

"Where are you?"

"Boston. When should I expect you?"

"Is tomorrow too soon?"

This was it: the only chance he had to run away. He could keep delaying it, giving himself enough time to run from Gavin again, only he knew he couldn't do that anymore. He had run for so long, right when Gavin had needed him before but that had been different. He had lost a brother then, yes, but now he had lost his family. It was everything Jeremy had ever feared, the whole reason he had cut and run in the first place.

"Tomorrow's too late," he muttered down the line, feeling the tears welling up in his eyes. A sniff from Gavin's end told him he wasn't the only one crying.

"I'll leave now."

For a moment, they both hesitated. Jeremy wondered whether Gavin was expecting him to change his mind. He wouldn't though. He was through with being a coward, with not picking up the phone, with running away. He knew he could never go back, not anymore, but maybe if he just stood still Gavin could catch up to him. Maybe they could run away together.

"Gavin?" he asked, his voice hoarse.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry." The tears finally escaped, running down Jeremy's cheeks. Even though the Brit couldn't see them, Jeremy still wiped them away. He needed to be strong now, for once. He wasn't just apologizing for the death of the crew, he was apologizing for everything. For running, for never letting anybody know he was okay, for never going back when the crew needed. "I'm so sorry."

"I know," Gavin sniffed, his voice breaking down for a moment. "I... I'll be there as soon as I can, okay?"

"Okay."

"And thank you for picking up."

"Just get here, okay?"

The call ended. Jeremy fell back into bed, the cell phone dropping to the floor as he stopped holding back the tears and openly wept. He curled up in the bed, burying his head into his pillows as if it would somehow calm the furious, screaming thoughts breaking through his mind. He had always struggled with his decision to run from the crew but could he ever forgive himself now? Because maybe if he'd stayed, if he hadn't broken Gavin's heart, things might have been different. Maybe he could have finally proved himself to Ryan and Michael, maybe Geoff might have made it, maybe he might have proposed to Gavin. None of that seemed possible now, not anymore. He was on the outside of that world, trying to pull Gavin back to him when he already knew that neither of them were the same men they had been before. Would anything even work between them now?

All he could do was hope. That was all they had left now anyway.

**Author's Note:**

> More Jeremy-centric fics please. Join me in celebrating the Lil J.


End file.
